Gio's Nutellarium

Once upon a time, many years ago, at the beginning of the world, there was the chaos. One day, God (stage-name of Dio) who was unemployed, had a bright idea and created Nutella. And he saw that it was very good. God's bellyful was long. He ate a million cans of Nutella since God hasn't a Mom that yells at you if you eat too much Nutella. And after his meal he invented the WC (Water Closet) Run, and some Nutella deriveds, like red bubos (pimples), paunch, cellulitis etc.

Then he invented Adam and Eve and all Paradise and he told them, Now you have all Paradise for you, you can do everything, eat, drink, kiss, #### (have sex). No work, no house rentals, no competitions for employes, no lines at Post Office, no Taxes. Only lazy life TV soap operas, soccer, moviola, Monday's Lawsuit (Italian TV show) Tuesday's Appeal, Wednesday's Supreme Court, etc. Free restaurants, movies, theaters, all Paradise is yours: Air-conditioned, Automatically heated, moquette, parquet, tressette (card game) bidet omelettes etc. Just one thing forbidden. Come to the garden, this is Nut tree. only this is forbidden because I want all Nutella for me. At first A. and E. were very happy. Adam said "Che cul" (coloquialism, it means what a luck, but literally What an ass)

Everyday a discover: hot water, spaghettis, cigarettes but on a very sad day they discovered breakfast. And after cappuccino, orange juice, donuts, they realized they missed something to put on bread slices. Eva said, You can put on it butter and marmalade. No, Adam said, I hate marmalade, I want something very special, like Nutella. No! You forgot that Our Lord said it's forbidden!
Yeah, but just a taste! It won't happen anything!
And he took a small can and spread brown cream on a bread slice.
Thunders and lightnings appeared in the sky and a voice said, "We could amaze you with special effects but I'm God not FantaGod! Come here, I'm angry! How could you touch it?" Shit! Sorry God I forgot it!
Don't play silly Adam, I can see everything, you and the woman voluntarily tasted Nutella! You'll have a big punishment for your sin, but since I'm so good you can choose:

1) No Nutella forever in the centuries!
No, cried Eva, it's too tragic!
-Wait don't be in a hurry, woman, this is choice 2: you can take Nutella with you but you'll be kicked off paradise! You'll work, hoe the earth, have pain in your back and pustules, belly ache, looseness of the bowels!

-Thank you God, we don't care we want to have Nutella! Goodbye!
Translation by GIO


If you have a Nutella recipe that you would like to see here,
please contact Gio at

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